Ten Days

written January 24, 2005

It started on a Friday, on a starlit Christmas Eve

You came and told me something that my ears could not believe.

You told me that you cared for me; you made my wish come true.

And happily I told you that I felt the same way too.

Christmas Day was perfect, my happiest so far.

You took my hand and held me close as we walked neath the stars,

You whispered sweet words in my ear and kissed me in the night.

We shared a perfect love and all the world just felt so right.

When Sunday came along I felt like walking on the clouds

We were so in love and of that fact we were so proud.

And everyone could see that we were now more than just friends,

Things kept getting better; I thought it couldn't end.

Monday was still special; I spent my whole day with you.

On Tuesday, both our families and all our good friends knew,

We drove around in your car in the dark and pouring rain,

Decided to commit; the feelings couldn't be contained.

But then on Wednesday, doubts and questions started creeping in,

We felt that things had gone too fast, and too soon to begin

We talked it over and you said that we should take things slow

There's still so much about each other that we didn't know.

Thursday...things had gotten strange. We seemed to drift apart.

Not hearing from you all day long put worry in my heart

And Friday rolled around; we shared the last day of the year.

And spending New Year's Eve with you somehow calmed my fear.

But New Year's Day was different; we did not talk at all.

You totally ignored me and did not return my calls.

Sick with hurt and worry, I then called you Sunday night,

You didn't understand me and it ended in a fight.

And that concludes the story; it was not the same again.

Until today I wonder 'bout just how and why and when

The love was lost so suddenly, it faded in the rain.

You simply have moved on and I am left with all the pain.

How could you fall in love and lose the feeling in 10 days?

While in my heart, it seems as though the feeling's here to stay.

And even as I try to heal and start to let you go,

Those were still the happiest ten days I'll ever know.

<3

written January 16, 2005

There I was, happy though alone

Simply existing,

Both feet on the ground,

I was content.

My heart was closed off

Under lock and key

Then you came along

You had the key

Opened the door

And suddenly my heart was free

To soar once more.

You pulled me up

And instantly

I was soaring on the wind

Flying high without a thought

Of ever falling.

You took my hand

And we glided carefree through open skies.

The wind in my face

And the sun in my eyes.

Then one day

Without warning

You simply disappeared

You let go of my hand

And I started to fall.

I looked around and called your name

Frightened and alone

I heard your voice

Somewhere behind the clouds

But you were nowhere to be found.

And so I kept falling

I crashed to the ground

I tried to scream

But it made no sound.

And so I lie here

Broken and wounded

I try to get up

But I simply can’t.

The wounds are deep

And may not heal

For quite some time.

I see you in the distance

But you can’t see me

And soon you will find

Someone else to fly with.

Now my heart asks

To be locked up again

The chain is there

But I lost the key.

And suddenly I remember

As I lie here alone

You took the key with you.

And all I can do

Is wait painfully here

For the wounds to heal

So that I can stand on my feet

And be happy again, though alone

To simply exist

And forget I ever flew with you.

Eyes wide open.

I think about the summer
And all it is to me
Is a faraway dream...
Beautiful, pristine, untouched by time and change.

But at the end of the day,

I still prefer the rude awakening.

It was not a mistake.
Nor was it the ideal.
All it is to me
Is a lovely fulfillment of wishes from the past
And a sweet glimpse of what is to come.

I wish you well.
I regret that you could not stay.

But at the end of the day,

We are better off where we are now.

True love snapshot # 3

It was a foggy, overcast day in July, and the sky was bluish gray, strewn here and there with bunches of cottony, dirty white clouds. A cool breeze was blowing across the central California coast, and I eagerly anticipated your arrival from my hotel room overlooking the beach.

You came to pick me up early in the afternoon. I introduced you to my three journalist friends who had taken me on an exciting, adventure-filled, week-long road trip through central California that culminated here in Pismo Beach. While I was gathering my luggage, you sat at the foot of my bed and chatted a little bit with them about tattoos and journalism.

Once you had hauled my suitcase into the trunk of your green car, (which, I was told, you had cleaned thoroughly in anticipation of our meeting) we took a leisurely stroll around the hotel, talking and enjoying the view of the ocean amid the cawing of the sea gulls perched on the craggy cliff sides and the crashing of the waves on the rocks below.

We ended up in a wooden gazebo that stood on a cliff jutting out into the sea. A wedding had just been conducted here the night before, and red rose petals were blowing across the gazebo floor. I walked over to the far side and stood gazing out into the ocean, and you followed, gently planting your hands on my shoulders as you silently watched the waves with me.

Later on we found ourselves strolling on the beach. You had your arm wrapped around my shoulders, and I leaned my head against your chest as we walked. On one side of us were rocky, towering cliffs; on the other was the crashing waves of the Pacific, and all around us was a beautiful expanse of pristine beach. There was a midsummer scattering of surfers and tourists around us, but it still seemed as though we were the only two people there.

We talked. And talked. And talked some more. You made me guess your middle name, hinting that it started with an “E," and I guessed what it was correctly the first time. I told you that a year before we had actually started talking, my best friend had already thought you’d be a good match for me and tried setting us up.

After a while, your hand found mine, and our fingers intertwined. I found your hand nicely warm despite the cool breeze.

We stopped walking and tried taking pictures of ourselves, laughing at our attempts to get both our faces in focus, until a friendly lady came up and asked if we wanted her to take our picture.

“You two make a cute couple,” she said smilingly as she handed me back my camera. We exchanged glances and blushed at the same time. She didn’t know we weren’t a couple…yet.

We found a large flat rock to sit on, and we reclined there in a comfortable silence. Your arm slid around my waist, and my hand rested on your knee.

“This is nice,” you said casually. “I like getting to spend time alone with you.”

“I do too,” I said. “I was really looking forward to seeing you again. It’s been…what…two and a half weeks?”

“Yeah, it’s been awhile,” you agreed, brushing an unruly lock of hair off my forehead.

We fell silent again for a few minutes.

“Do you mind the silence?” you asked me after awhile.

“No, I don’t,” I replied honestly. “It would sure seem that way though, because I love to talk.”

You laughed. “Well, it’s just that…I like being quiet sometimes. I like to just sit back and enjoy the moment. Especially when I’m with you.”

You looked at me then, and the sincerity in your eyes stirred up something deep inside me…something warm and nice and wonderful. I took your hand in mine again, without saying a word.

We sat there, snuggled up against each other, on that July afternoon, watching the waves crash on the beach as the sun broke through the clouds.

True love snapshot # 2

It was a warm, breezy Sunday afternoon in May. The trees surrounding your apartment were sprinkled with an array of colorful blossoms, ranging from yellows to pinks to delicate whites.

I stood here on the rooftop of the four-story apartment building, surveying the rooftops below me as the breeze blew the cotton skirt around my knees. The scene was nothing particularly special – just rows of suburban houses stretching out in both directions, occasionally interspersed with slightly taller apartments, townhouses and stores. In the distance was clearly outlined the skyscrapers of downtown.

There was a calm satisfaction in my heart at that moment, interrupted only by a pleasant shiver down my spine as I recalled how we had danced at the country club the night before. You held me close on the dance floor while the last song played, told me how happy you were at that moment, and leaned down to plant a soft, brief kiss on my lips.

For me, that moment was a fulfillment of months of waiting for you to express how you truly felt about me. The evasiveness and denial had been stressing me out prior to that evening, prior to that kiss. I still had not heard the words I was hoping to hear – not yet, at least – but with the progress we were making, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before you would say them.

Just several moments earlier, we were having lunch with a group of friends from church. You had given me secret, meaningful smiles all throughout the meal. After I’d finished eating and had gone to lounge on your couch, you came over and whispered, “Meet me on the rooftop in a few minutes.”

I have to admit that my heart started beating faster when I heard your familiar footsteps on the creaky wood-and-iron staircase behind me. I waited with bated breath, not turning around, as you approached. The wind carried a slight tinge of your perfume under my nostrils.

Your arms slid around my waist from behind. I turned around to face you and rested my hands on your shoulders, as though we were about to dance again. “Hey there,” I said teasingly. “Took you awhile to come up here.”

“I had to make sure no one noticed me slip outside,” you explained, chuckling.

“Hmmm.” I studied your face thoughtfully. “And what did you want to meet me up here for that was so important, we had to sneak away from your house guests?”

You paused before pulling me closer. “This,” you said, and you leaned down and kissed me fervently.

Half an hour later, we were sitting on the couch in front of our friends, your arms around my shoulders as you shyly and hesitantly, but truthfully, told them how much you wanted to be with me.

True love snapshot #1

February 14, 1998

I was a high school freshman. I had been seeing this guy for a couple of months then. He was very sweet and romantic, not to mention good-looking and athletic. However, he and I had a major fight the week before Valentine's Day and were not on speaking terms, so I wasn't really expecting anything when Valentine's Day rolled around. If anything, I was quite melancholy that morning as I saw couples all over school exchanging flowers, chocolates and love notes.

I was sitting in math class shortly after lunch, bored to death as the teacher droned on about integers when someone knocked on the classroom door. A junior who was on the same basketball varsity team as my boyfriend poked his head in and asked if he could come in and deliver a "songgram" to Pauline.

My math teacher smilingly obliged. My entire math class went crazy, erupting in hoots and teasing. The junior, with four of his friends, entered the classroom carrying a guitar. One of my boyfriend's teammates handed me three red roses and a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates with a letter rolled up into a scroll. I unrolled it, and it simply said, "I'm sorry and I love you."

My teacher, still smiling, ordered me to sit in front of the class so I could "enjoy the performance" more. I did, blushing like heck because the whole class was smilingly staring at me.

The junior began strumming his guitar and his group broke into the verse of "And I'll always love you." At that moment, my boyfriend entered the room, sat in the empty chair next to mine, and grinned at me. The class was hooting and shrieking so loudly I could barely hear the song. But I was already smiling from ear to ear.

Finally, as the song ended with the lines, "And if you ever change your mind, I'll still always love you..." he leaned over and whispered, "Hope you liked that, and in case you're wondering, I meant every word."

And after class, he and I went out for an early dinner at a diner close to school. The food was cheap, but I've never had a happier Valentine's Day since.

I still smile when I remember.

True love snapshots.

I had just finished re-reading the novel "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom. It mentioned "true love snapshots," which are picture-perfect memories of romantic incidents from a person's past that are more worth cherishing than most other memories.

I'm attempting to write a series of "true love snapshot" stories from my own past, which I will be posting over the next several days. I won't be mentioning real names though, in order to protect some people's identities. Hehe.

And yes, they are every bit as cheesy and mushy as they sound. =)